I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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