I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
