we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
