I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
