weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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