I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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