I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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