PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
