Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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