halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
