My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
