So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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