After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
