I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
