Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
