At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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