i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
