So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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