I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
