What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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