whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize