So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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