College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
