Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
