I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
