they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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