OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
