this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
