it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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