i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This is my gift to your gina
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
