so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
