How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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