If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't deserve a penis
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
