Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
