You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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