Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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