some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
