do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
