what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
