All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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