you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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