Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
