with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
