come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
accomplished twins. life is a go
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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