anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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