There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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