He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
