Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
