I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
