ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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