As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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