he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
