im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
