How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
