We're facebook friends in real life
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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