I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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